Skip to main content

SHOULD WE WAIT?











" Usifanye tabia mbaya" As a kid every time I asked permission from my folks to go out and play, that's what they would tell me.

Sex in my time was referred to as tabia mbaya, you would know if you are among the late 80's and early 90's kids. (early 90's ends at 1993,tusibishane)










" Genital sex is an expression of intimacy, not the means to intimacy. True intimacy springs from verbal and emotional communion. True intimacy is built on a commitment to honesty, love and freedom. True intimacy is not primarily a sexual encounter. Intimacy, in fact, has almost nothing to do with our sex organs. A prostitute may expose her body, but her relationships are hardly intimate." Alice Fryling.



Remember THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL? It was the alarm for bed time. SMH it saddens that cartoons/animations nowadays have sexual scenes and the most targeted market is our kids.

At age 7, during my elder sisters' birthday party (she was 19 at the time), I spotted her being kissed by her boyfriend. Trust you me, this almost made me be taken to a psychiatrist or whatever. I labeled her as unholy, dirty, fornicator, you name it. I dint let her talk to me for weeks, I dint let her bath me for weeks, heck, this made me woman up and start doing my own grooming.
Yeah yeah I know it was just a kiss.



In our sex-saturated culture, many unmarried people, especially teenagers, feel pressured to be sexually active forgetting that sexually transmitted diseases, unintended pregnancies and emotional pain are too often the price paid for sex without marriage. Kwanza this FWB thingy!!!



Why is it hard to abstain from sex before marriage? Rather any form of sexually immorality? Kwanza I hear there is no specific prohibition in the Bible against sex between unmarried people though sexual immorality is denounced much in the New testament. So, what constitutes of sexual immorality? Because there is no specific list of acts of sexual immorality but verses written by Paul seem to say that any sexual intercourse, except between husband and wife, would be wrong.



Many would argue that sex is a way for individuals to enjoy each other. Well, I think having sex is no guarantee that the deep emotional intimacy that everyone longs for will develop.

But also, it is personal responsibility on whether or not to engage in sexual activities before marriage. Each person must decide individually whether or not to have sex, with whom and for how long. The only constraint should be whether you are prepared to handle the consequences. You cannot avoid some risks, so you ought to face them honestly, minimize them if you can and take responsibility for the results.
Most likely you will move through a number of sexual relationships before you find one that gives you lasting satisfaction and some people, being the people we are, never find gratification but keep moving from one partner to the next as if a bus station, haha!






LET'S JUST GO FOR DINNER AND LET SEX SLIDE OUT
Again, having sex is no guarantee that the deep emotional intimacy that everyone longs for will develop.






Comments

Popular posts from this blog

MY CUP OF TEA

" Every time I get my period, it is just like a green light saying - you're not pregnant, carry on girl!" LOL So, the last time I updated, it was on the abortion issue and that if women cannot back out of pregnancies then men shouldn't be able to either. I got quite some reactions. Personally. Well, if you haven't had a read yet, you can peek so we could be on the same page here. Sexually transmitted infections are on the rise among all age groups, as is the abortion rate. But wait, today, in my country, or is it just in the circle of people I happen to know? Well, the number of single parents, more so mothers, has risen. Or do I say trending! It is a lifestyle now. It is as if there is something compulsive about playing the lottery of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infection. I wonder whether unprotected sex is one of the ways in which young people unconsciously explore their anxieties. Young people aren't stupid. Okay, they get dr...

MALIVANI II

      Today it wasn't normal at my house. It was the D day. My day. My bags packed with my NEW everything and a wooden 'box' as the school requested.   And there I was, making faces to my brother, laughing at him that he didn't have any new things as I had. He just starred as if to say "woiye baby sis I just wish you knew what awaits you" But I didn't care, I was going to UKAMBANI school, with my new SHOES. I'm going to beat them all in exam, those kamba kids. Exam results was my pride, more so in Mathematics. So I'm going to show them. I kept telling myself.     The whole ride from Wote town, where I put on my NEW uniform on, was silent. Not one word was spoken. We all kept our thoughts to ourselves until we came to a stop. That's when I realised we were parked outside the school's gate. I turned to my parents just to confirm they are going to sleep in the school compound too and they did. Bingo! I had totally nothin...

EXCITED ABOUT YOU AT 25?

So, a close friend of mine suggested that I write about LIFE AT 25.(hey Clinton)  Well, I am not 25 - maybe not yet or already past it (guess you'll never know, lol). But come to think of it, there's so much to talk and write about it. One thing I know for sure is that most of us expect to have figured out everything (having a job,that dream car and a perfect life partner - name it all) by this age. People tend to feel so much pressure around this age. Society has a way to burden people with the many unnecessary expectations. Someone, actually at some point my boss, once told me, "If you won't have been married by age 25, forget about getting married!" Now all I could think of was finding me a boyfriend. What if no one wanted me? What if I end up having those creepy lonely nights without a husband? What will become of me without a complete perfect family of my own? What would people think about me? All this until one day I realized that 25 is ...